So, I think it’s time for me to begin writing again. I took a pause of several years from blogging. I can’t quite describe why. Time and time again I’d begin a new post to share on here, only to feel something was very, very off.
I don’t want to add anymore bullshit noise to the world.
I don’t want to talk out of my ass as if I have the answers to happiness, like much of the noise promises.
And I didn’t want to complain and moan about the immature trials and tribulations of my life I’d been dwelling on.
So I decided to keep quiet, and figure some things out in life. I’ve done a lot of work since my original posts. I began going to therapy twice a week (which I can’t recommend more – and note, you must find the one that is right for you), unwinding the mess in my mind, tracking my projections, finally acknowledging the pains of the past. It’s been tough work. Going inward and looking at yourself in the mirror has been humbling and humiliating, a sigh of relief and a breath of exhaustion.
I’m going to begin sharing this next leg of my journey. One rooted in my observations of our world at this day and age we happen be alive, and my process of discovery as I begin to tap into my awareness and continue to “wake up”.
There’s a lot of talk out there about Waking Up. I particularity like the statement, as that’s exactly what it has felt like, particularly over the course of the last year. Before that, it was as if I knew I was sleep walking, but I didn’t know how to open my eyes.
Then I began to open my eyes, and a flood occurred.
Frankly, the flood is still very much occurring.
It’s been a series of catching myself falling into rabbit holes, and then climbing out of them.
It’s been a process of examining myself, and learning how the inner-workings of my mind function.
I’ve discovered that there is a small space between my thoughts, and my self. And in that space, is quiet, and peace, and calm… and choice.
I’ve taken a look at my privilege, and began to get realistic about the power and access I have in this world because of the color of my white skin.
I’ve observed that we live in a Man’s World. All you have to do is take a look at the photographs of leadership around the world, and you’ll notice its all men sitting together playing their games against each other.
I’ve confronted that as woman, we are full of untapped power and abilities, and the way the world has functioned, we’ve absolutely been oppressed. And we’ve been told we need men as our saviours. We do not need to be helpess princesses. We are Queens capable of building bridges, and creating communities, and nurturing the wounded.
I spent my childhood without technology in my face. And will now go through the rest of my life riding a wave as we transition to a new kind of world. I believe that due to the conditioning of our world, human beings at this point in time, are not capable of handling this exponential change. The world is too exhausted and people are far too wounded and angry to handle it. The leadership running the world will use it against one another. All the imagery of dystopian society feels all too looming. And so the truth is, I am very cynical about the future.
I try to stay positive. I love the shit out of my friends, my brother, my parents. I spend my time bringing people together. I would love a more peaceful, calm, awakened human race. I believe that waking up and entering into our own self-awareness is the only way out. It is when we do enter into those realms, that we begin to understand what Virtue truly is, and we begin to tap into our own virtue. We begin to notice the connection between all human beings, and a space forms between ourselves and the current storyline and conditioning and manipulation of the masses. One by one, if we all begin to wake up, a shift can occur, and a new storyline rooted in awareness will become our guiding light.
I will state that these statements are all rooted in my own observations of the world and in myself. I fully acknowledge that these statements are partially rooted in my projections onto the world. I fully acknowledge there are infinite possibilities and ways of which to view the world that I do not know I don’t know.
So, this just happens to be where I’m at, in the here and now. I’m open to other view points, and in fact, welcome them. I am not here to tell you what I know to be true, but rather, simply what I am observing as I wake up. I hope to connect the dots of our existence.
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- November 2017 Creation Carnival: Essence of Divine Masculine and Feminine - October 23, 2017
- Enter The Rabbit Hole: The Holographic Universe (Parts 1-5) - October 22, 2017