You clearly don’t have what it takes, so stop trying so hard. Do you REALLY think it’s going to pay off? Think of all the hard-working people out there that fail. What makes you think you aren’t going to be one of them? Face it. You aren’t good enough.

Pretty brutal self talk there, ey?

I’m not proud to say this, but that’s a direct quote from my inner monologue some days.

Yes, me! Ms. Stay Positive, Live Your Dreams, Just F*cking Do It!, Mad to Live.

I’m a regular, old Debbie Downer every once in awhile.

I’ve always had a problem with being a little too hard on myself, even if the signs are looking up and I’m doing great.

Over the past few weeks I’ve gotten thank you emails, “You Rock!” twitter DMs, was listed on people’s favorite blogs here and here and here (Thanks you guys!), and even brought in some web design business for an awesome guy here. I am so grateful for all of this.

Yet I still give myself shit far too often, rarely patting myself on the back for doing good work I’m proud of.

For me, there is always more to do, more I could have done, and more I wish I hadn’t done.

Now, I’m not telling you this for pity or anything like that. But I’m sharing this because I think that there are too many people out there working their butts off and putting out amazing work, yet at the end of the day they beat themselves up.

As I said, I’m guilty as charged. But I thought, it’s worth it to share it because it always helps to feel you’re not alone when you’re being unfairly unfair to yourself.


Published author Ralph Charrell, who one inspired us with one of my favorite quotes, “Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations”, also told us, “The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak”.

It’s pretty ridiculous that we can come so far, accomplish so much, and inspire so many, yet at the end of the day, our inner voice has something bad to say about it.

It’s like that nagging girlfriend or boyfriend that even finds something to whine about on a free, all-expenses-paid trip to the “Happiest Place on Earth”, Disney World!

What a pain in the ass! Don’t you wish you could just tell them to “Shut the F*CK up”?!


Today I woke up and I realized that letting myself think like this is the stupidest thing I could ever possibly do short of going skydiving without a chute or attempting to chug a gallon of milk to impress people or belching the A,B,C’s. (Okay there are a lot of stupid things I could also do.)

This morning I realized that there are so many better things to focus on that automatically get your negative self talk to shut up.

What about gratitude? By simply spending time thinking about all the amazing things you’ve been given, you’ve seen, and you’ve done, your negative self talk shuts up.

What about FUN? The second you remember that you’re doing all this because you love it and it makes you feel alive, your negative self talk shuts up.

What about inspiration? When you start to think about how the people you’ve met throughout your journey have inspired you so much and how you’ve inspired people along the way as well, your negative self talk shuts up.

What about YOU? When you start to give yourself credit for all the things you’ve done and all the things you deserve, your negative self talk shuts up. And if you need a reminder, pull out your Mad To Do List and look at all the amazing things you’ve checked off.


The mind is a beautiful and complicated place. Don’t let it play tricks on you. For it’s the very thing that’s gotten you to the far and wide, inspiring, move-making places you’ve reached today and are heading towards tomorrow.

Don’t tear yourself down when you deserve to be looking up. You’re much sexier, much more accomplished, and much more amazing than you could ever imagine. From one negative self talker to another, trust me on that one.

What Have You Rocked On?
If you’ve been giving yourself too much crap lately, prove yourself wrong and share in the comments what things have you been rocking on and having a blast with lately.   I reply to each comment with love and thought and nothing is cooler than the discussion that get’s going from you guys, so don’t forget to Subscribe to the Comments!

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About Lauren Rains

Hi my name is Lauren Rains. I write about the human experience. Through thick and thin, I’m dedicated to growth, adventure, integrity, and love. The Mad To Live is based on my pursuits, experiments, research, and lessons of challenge and triumph in all areas of life, including being entrepreneur, a writer, a philosopher, a traveler, a teacher, a student, a creative, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a significant other, a stranger and the list goes on. At the end of the day, I believe human beings are here for two reasons: 1.) to love one another with total acceptance, and 2.) to see what we’re made of as we create the possibilities for an abundant life for ourselves and for others. No more bullshit, let's just enjoy our lives.

Share with me what you're getting into that matters to you. It could be stepping into entrepreneurial pursuits, embarking on a journey of the self, making a crazy life change, or even if you're totally stuck. I want to connect with, support, collaborate with, and learn from as many people as possible through this blog (that means you!) Click the *Share* link in the main menu and let's connect by filling out the form.

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