I ate a handful of fried bees in China once. Right after that I ate that I swallowed down an enormous fried worm the size of my ring finger. And following that I of course took a gigantic swig of water and wished my stomach the best of luck.
Moments before the crunch in my mouth I sat across from my boss at the time, contemplating the two options I had as I stared at the platter of bees and worms before me that he had so graciously gifted me. I could either…
1.) Woman the F*ck Up: (Pardon my French but I feel nothing else goes better here when it comes to eating fried worms!) and open myself up to see if this new slice of life will somehow inspire a turning point, an idea, a passion, a lesson, a possibly new favorite food!
2.) Give him the good ole’ excuse as to why I can’t try the delicacy he wanted to share with me: “I’m sorry… that’s just disgusting.” “Thank you, but I am too full and you and I both know that once you eat one bee you can’t help but have another. They’re like Lays Potato Chips!”.
What’s a girl to do? To eat or not to eat the once slimy fried worm and once happily buzzing bee?!
Well, you and I know that a real lady always goes for eating the fried worms of life. Real ladies take chances, embrace adventure, and have no time to bother with silly little rules and limits. Real men as well, of course!
And while metaphorically speaking it isn’t the most elegant of comparisons, I’d have to say that some of the risks that we have the opportunity to take can look as disgusting from above as a plate of fried worms and bees can look like below you.
And so I ate the worm, and I ate the bees. What ensued was…well…
I chewed with a smile on my face, giving my boss the look of approval that hopefully read, “Your country’s customs, traditions, and more than anything, food, pleases me to the point of envy… for all we have in America is pizza, burgers, and cotton candy, all of which I of course loathe!” In my mind, to your surprise I’m sure, I was thinking, “OMFG there is half a worm in my freaking mouth right now and how the hell am I going to eat the second half!?!?!?!?”.
FINDING TIMELESS WISDOM IN CONSUMING DEAD BEES AND WORMS
The results of this meal were: This particular “chance” I took was one of the most disgusting and ugly chances with a 99.9% likelihood of a terrible outcome I’ve ever taken in my life. And I knew it would be that way. I knew I would hate the worm and the bee as both a desert and a snack food.
But I also knew that at future moments in my life I’d look back on this and I’d laugh with a smile on my face. I knew I’d have a story to tell should I want to convince someone else to eat something disgusting or possibly just gross someone out a bit. (Sorry!) I knew that taking that bite without thinking too hard about it would help me to stretch and workout my “do wild, crazy, and memorable things – don’t be a little b*tch” muscle.
And so looking back on this experience I learned three very good lessons that I’d like to share with you today:
1.) When taking chances in life that are likely to have disgusting outcomes, it’s quite likely they will. But they’re not going to kill you. The worst possible outcome usually doesn’t happen! Metaphorically speaking, you probably won’t end up in the hospital after 10 days of food poisoning and then medevac’d back to your home country, but rather, you’ll simply end up with a strange taste in your mouth, a great story to share, and a few lessons you’ve learned.
2.) When someone you trust gives you an opportunity to try something scary you normally wouldn’t do without a little push, let them give you that opportunity by embracing it and going for it. They aren’t trying to force you to change, inflict pain on you, or put you through anything that would harm you. It’s actually the total opposite, and they simply want the best for you. They’re not trying to force dead bees down your throat, but rather, they’re simply trying to open your eyes to something you’d once turned your head to or hadn’t considered before.
3.) Note to Self: Never, ever, ever shall I eat fried bees or worms again. Ever.
THE CALL TO ACTION: THE ZEN OF GROSS FOOD
So there you have it, my friends. I would have never thought that I’d find such solace and wisdom when reminiscing over the flavors of bee in my mouth, but I guess that’s how taking risks that are bound to go wrong work.
Of course, you know I’m incapable of concluding a post without a little bit of a call to action, double-dog-dare for you.
This week, real-life speaking or metaphorically speaking, eat something that is bound to be a little gross. If you’re abroad right now try one of the country’s most off-putting delicacies, and if you’re in your home country head over to the local Asian market and grab some chicken feet or find something insane in the ethnic food section of the grocery store.
And remember, come up with 2 ways to do this: Metaphorically speaking and Actually speaking. …Yes…eating dead bees and worms equate to an optimistic metaphor of taking risks in life …who would have thought!
Oh, and as I type this I just had a quick idea: Film the moment of eating it and your reaction and send me the YouTube link because I have to see this!!! Also, so I don’t feel so alone and unladylike for eating something so grotesque. And finally, because doesn’t a Part II list post of nothing but videos of us eating the world’s craziest things sound… delicious?! 😛
For The Comments: Do you have any gross similar stories you’d like to share? Videos of you conquering a similar feat? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done that represents a similar metaphor? And lastly, an acceptance of my apology for grossing you out by writing about eating dead insects! Bon Appetit!