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Leaving Plato’s Cave: Saying Goodbye To The Ones Who Aren’t Ready Yet

Who you surround yourself with is going to be, and has been, essential to your wellbeing, peace of mind, sanity, and growth.

I’ve spent time with people whom immediately after being with them, I am drained, exhausted, and feel insecure. They strip the life out of me.

On the other hand, there are others whom as I spend time with them, I feel like I can do almost anything I could possibly dream of, I feel love in my chest, and I feel excitement for my life and the people I’m experiencing it with.

The basic fact of the matter is this: If you spend time with people who make you feel like shit, you are poisoning yourself.

Do you really want to drink that toilet cleaner underneath your bathroom sink? Fuck no.

It’s important to be relentless about who you spend time with and who you interact with.

A good friend of mine spent numerous hours attempting to instil this into me. “Be relentless Lauren,” she’d say over and over and over to me as I’d complain about certain people in my life.

I was stubborn to make it work with these people. I felt that I was in the wrong for not being able to accept them. I felt I was weak for not being able to put a wall up between their energy and my energy. I felt I was being judgemental and projecting a negative storyline onto them.

What I learned is there is no such thing as better or worse, negative or positive about anyone. There are infinite beings on this planet, all with different personalities, thoughts, mindsets, experiences, and perspectives. Each one of us is on our own journey. It is up to us to choose the ones we’d like to play this human game with on our journey. And when you find someone that wants to play with you just as much as you want to play with them, it is a match made in heaven. One of the most beautiful feelings I’ve experienced in my lifetime is the feeling of reciprocal presence with another human being. It is almost as if in that moment, you’re experiencing life through the same exact lens, separately and together. It’s the kind of thing that only a poem or a song could perhaps articulate. When you feel it, you will know it.

One of my current tasks is to let go of my grip on relationships in my life that are not serving me, especially the ones with whom I ultimately know are not part of my life long journey. My goal is to spend time only with people whom inspire me, whom I learn from, whom I can have real-life conversations with, and who I can laugh and feel joy with.

I took me a long time to figure this out. It took me years of attempting to make square pegs to fit into round holes. And frankly, it always ends up the same, and its getting boring.

You will not learn the sweetest lessons or glean the most brilliant gifts from these relationship. Nor will you be able to give your gifts to these relationships either. Year after year after year will go by, and one day you’ll look back asking yourself why you depleted yourself of so much energy and love and capacity trying to create a bond that wasn’t there to begin with.

In the last year of my life, I was given the gift of experiencing a new kind of relationship, with numerous people. I spent time with people who loved me. I spent time with people who made me feel loved. I spent time with people who wanted my life and allowed me to give it and I got to experience what it felt like to have someone receive my love and watch them light up and be comforted and be inspired because of it.

I will leave you with a video below: Plato’s Cave. After I discovered Plato’s Cave, and began to see the light outside of it, I decided to go back into it. I attempted to get certain people in my life out of it, hoping they’d join me on the outside. I remained in it studying and investigating it, hoping I could find a ways I could connect its interior to the outside world so those inside could see the light on their own accord and break their chains. I remained in the cave, contemplating why the human race would ever want to exist in such a place, feeling nothing but despair, disappointment, and frustration.

I almost convinced myself that I was still a prisoner of this cave. However, you can’t unknow what you already know. Once you see the light, you can’t not see it. And I realized I had a choice: I could stay in the cave and continue to hold a grip on it, or I could leave and step out into the light.

I am not willing to stay in this cave any longer. And I am waiting outside of it for anyone who finally chooses to leave it. Get the fuck out of there.

The world outside of the cave is real. 

(PS get at me in on the contact page if you’d like to talk about this. I got your back.)

About Lauren Rains

Hi my name is Lauren Rains. I write about the human experience. Through thick and thin, I’m dedicated to growth, adventure, integrity, and love. The Mad To Live is based on my pursuits, experiments, research, and lessons of challenge and triumph in all areas of life, including being entrepreneur, a writer, a philosopher, a traveler, a teacher, a student, a creative, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a significant other, a stranger and the list goes on. At the end of the day, I believe human beings are here for two reasons: 1.) to love one another with total acceptance, and 2.) to see what we’re made of as we create the possibilities for an abundant life for ourselves and for others. No more bullshit, let's just enjoy our lives.

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